What crisis happened in life to help you discover who you are?

Written by on June 18, 2021

Created2Produce

Chapter 8 Identity Crisis

Workbook – Pondering Questions

Textbook: Created2Produce – Your Turning Point to Destiny by By Dr. Cassandra Scott

Instructions:
Please read the Chapter first and then answer the questions. Post your answers below by the requested due date. Feel free to reply to comments posted by your BYB co-partners and share your thoughts.

What crisis happened in life to help you discover who you are and your call to the world to solve a problem?

 

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Comments
  1. Gloria Johnson   On   August 14, 2021 at 11:36 am

    2) Write a full page of this experience.
    • Wow, now that I have taken the time to write some of my crises on paper, it’s certainly only by the grace of God that I am still in the land of the living. Looking back, I realized I packed most of my crisis in a steamer truck and pushed the truck into a mental closet and locked the door. I now know that I didn’t learn how to capitalize on the crises. Instead of using the pain to catapult me into my destiny I went into survivor mode. Praise be to God, He didn’t leave me in survivor mode with a steamer truck of emotions in a mentally locked closet.
    Being a part of the Pastoral Care Ministry, each year we study a book aimed at equipped us to walk alone side congregants who are experiencing and navigating life crises. Our first book was ‘Emotionally Healthy Spirituality’ by Peter Scazzero. You guessed it; I had to go back into my mental closet and pull my steamer truck of emotions out and start the unpacking process. I hated that process and thought to myself I am too old for this. I also learned if you don’t deal with your emotions, hurts, disappointments, etc. you keep going around the same mountain. There have been several times I said to myself, ‘Gloria, you can’t keep doing the same thing excepting a different answer’. If you stay with the process God will help you unpack everything and get rid of the steamer truck. Ok, don’t judge me; one of the things in the steamer truck was a knife with a specific name (Mr. CEH) on it. I put it there because I declared if I ever saw Mr. CEH again I was going to cut that brother to the white meat!!! Praise be to God, the healing came before the cutting. I saw him in the airport one day and the desire was gone. Isaiah 43:19 states that God will make rivers in the desert; surely He can make life flow into locked mental closets.
    Finally, assisting with the Grief and Loss seminars helped me complete the grieving process for my father, brother, and nephew. I am fully convinced that if you want to be whole, God (Father, Son, & Holy Spirit) is the answer.
    Now, I am realizing how much I have grown and that it’s important to reach back and help someone else.

  2. Gloria Johnson   On   August 14, 2021 at 11:35 am

    1) What crisis happened in life to help you discover who you are and your call to the world to solve a problem?
    • Death of my father (43 years old) shortly after my 16th birthday
    • Fear/uncertainty
    • Broken engagement (Mr. CEH)
    • Living in a war zone (Desert Storm)
    • Death of brother (32 years old)
    • Unemployment – RIF (military reduction in force)
    • Death if nephew (12 years old)
    • Total hysterectomy before my 40 birthday (no children, but still having a dream about giving birth)
    • Walked away from two total car accidents

  3. Lisa Weatherspoon   On   August 8, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    When I first read this question, I pondered it for quite a while. I thought what crisis could it be amongst the many I have had, yet I still don’t know quite what that gifting is calling is. However, one thing that kept coming to mind was raising my son as a single mother and the many challenges that posed to him as a young black male that did not know his biological father and did not have a steady Godly male figure in his life. This brought on many issues for him and myself. He was bonded by the strikes society had bestowed upon him: he was a black male, being raised by a single black female. As a single mother in the military, we moved quite often, causing my son to change schools and make new friends. Well, he never felt a since of. belonging and never felt a true connection and as he put it, never had the opportunity to grow/grow-up with childhood friends and family as I did. He struggled with behavorial, drug, school and identity issues. I myself, still struggle at times with the quilt of whether or not I was a good parent and perhaps it was my fault he turned out as he did. I actually got saved, saved after he was born, took him to church with me, put him in sports at the age of 4 or 5 and yet my son, my only son would go in the opposite direction of which he was taught. I’m saying all hat to say that seeing the struggles of my son, the ups, the downs, the hurt, the pain I suffered and still do has given me a strong desire to help at risk youths (especially boys being raised by single female parents). So many of this kids are extremely gifted and talented; but the hard knocks of life has steered them in directions and activities that provides (so they think) more excitement and offers a false sense of promise to their future and drowns their dreams. I want to provide an avenue that always them to showcase their gifts/talents in a positive light, while instilling in them that there is more to life than what the street offers. There is a king inside of them that is ready to reign in the right way. Encouraging and teaching them that they are somebody without the tough boy act. I guess since I feel that I failed with my son, I want to try and make sure that no more of our princes and kings get swallowed up by he enemy and the streets. Even as a child I had something in me (I say something because I never knew what to call it then) that desired to help the undesirable, the underdog. I found myself always playing with the kids no one else wanted to play with, taking up for them and feeling sorry for them when others would make fun of them. Today, I still have that passion to help those that can’t help themselves. Although I still struggle with what is my true gifting and talents of God, I do know that helping others is a part of it.

  4. Rose ALLEN-OUTEN   On   August 1, 2021 at 4:55 pm

    The crisis that happened in life to help me discover who I am and my call to the world.

    When I went through my divorce, it was very hard and difficult. I didn’t know how

    raising a child being a single parent in the military would work. I asked God to help me

    and guide me on this journey. I prayed fasted and had some good people in the same

    or similar situations as myself. As I moved from place to place God would show me

    who to speak to and trust with my child. Certain duty stations some single parents

    who help each other out. We would make sure myself or the other parent would be

    available to pick up the children or get them off to school depending on our schedule. If

    both single parents were scheduled to work, we would change our schedule so that it

    worked out for the children. I have assisted single parents in their time of need

    with their children. It helps alleviate some stress from the parents and

    children’s lives

    • Lola Norris   On   July 31, 2021 at 2:36 pm

      1989 I was introduced to (rock) Crack Cocaine, which lead me to be an user and a so call dealer for 7 yrs.

      For 7 years I was bond by this drugs Demon.

      As a mother of 4 beautiful children 3 girls and 1 boy, whom I loved very much but the demonic addition caused me to not be who God created me to be for them nor myself, I knew there was a God and I knew that I could call on him and he would help me.

      In 1994 when God allowed me to get tired of myself and I even contemplating suicide in my heart, after been out, away from my kids 2 to 3 days in a hotel with friends and family members. 

      I came home, walked up to my driveway, my mom and my children was sitting in the car singing a new song my children had learned  at school, which happened  to be the don’t use drugs song by the crime animated  McGruff dog. I was unaware that my children was only singing the song to my mom of what they had learned. 

      I was so ashamed and embrassed to the point I felt as my whole world had fallen apart, thinking my children know I was addictedto crack, I hugged my children with kisses on their faces and a big fake smile as I was dying in side, thinking oh no someone has told my children I was on drugs, I kept that hidden from my children, they never knew their mom, whom they loved so dearly was on drugs. As I approached the side door of my home, the kids was still in the car with my mom, so as I looked back at my mom smiling and laugh with my children. 

       I entered the house, went into my kitchen grabbed a rigged knife went in the restroom,  locked the door, I  slid down the wall next to my bathtub crying say, who told my babies I was on drugs not knowing it was a lie, my thoughts were foggy after being up  3 days, my children never knew until they were 15 or 16yrs old,  that I had a drug addiction.  As I sat In my restroom contemplating suicide, I took the rigged knife I got out of the kitchen, stretched my arm out applied the knife to my wrist applying pressure to my wrist to cut it, thats when I heard a small voice scream out nooooo moma, noooo moma, nooooo.

       I snapped to myself jumped up with tears in my eyes ran and opened the door it was my eldest daughter who followed behind me and was peeping in the Skelton key peep whole. I picked her up held her in my arms saying moma sorry, saying I love you repeatedly. I went back to the car crying VIGOROUSLY, my mom jumped out the car say baby what’s wrong, what’s wrong Judy as she began to weep, I told her mom if I don’t get me some help today I’m going to die, all  she could not say it’s going to be OK enough, my mom called my uncle she call St. Joseph outreach clinic in Houston Tx. 

      The very next morning they drove me back to Houston to St. Joseph for help. I was placed under and outpatient physician to care for me. I stayed with my brother and  his Wife for 7 months I was placed on some meds to curve the addiction but I couldn’t take it it gave me gitters and one night I took the meds and didn’t fall asleep right away , and the meds caused me to hallucinate, causing me to see what wasn’t real, Lord I looked at the venetian blinds and they were opening and closing. The next visit after I had already stop,taking the meds from that night I told my Dr. What took place he told me to trash them. I never took them anymore and I stopped my treatments with my Dr. I did not return. 

      I started going to church with my brother things got better, I gotten a job with my brother enjoying myself and the new change, but I was missing my children so badly and I needed to be with them. Told my brother it was time for me to go back to my children him and his family was sad but they knew I needed my children and my children needed me, as my brother was taking me to the bus station (Lord I see him now) he said with tears in his eyes sis please don’t go back and get on drugs, me embarrassing him back saying brother I promise I want. I went back to my children they were so happy to see me even as I was with them.  Months went by and I thought I was Good but then I started hanging with the same family members one thing to another.

      1996 I found myself back on drugs Crack Cocaine, this time I started dating a married guy that was on drugs as well and we was going to a church that was a cross the st from my home, which he  worked with the Pastor, No power just dead there, which allowed me to think I was ok. One night we had ppl over, we all was getting high.

      I had this walk in clothes with mirrors all around it, but you could set around this little disk like area that went around the closet. All of a sudden I couldn’t get high anymore, I gazed at myself in the mirror and I saw me. I came out the closet and I kneeled down at the side of my bed weeping and crying out to God to please help me I don’t want to do this anymore,  some days later,, There was a Christmas revival going on at my church where I a member of,  not the church next door, one of the missionaries invited me to go and me and my children went, God renewed me and forgave giving me another opportunity to live. I began to faithfully attended church hang with the saints being around positive ppl, I started fasting ( Lord I really didn’t know how to fast) and seeking God to baptize me with the HolyGhost. I had broken up with the married guy. 

      Now because I missed handled my finances my lights was cut off and a few of the church members allowed me and my children to stay until the lights were back on.

      Wasn’t  many day after,  the married guy,  stopped by in that late night knocked on the door,  he was knocking on the windows, children was asleep, so I didn’t want him to wake them up so I go to the front door and open it, he came in a set down , my eldest daughter came in the front room and set on the couch, I looked at him and it seemed as he  was looking at my baby in a strang, strong way so I told her to go get back in the bed, saying it’s OK, I’m  ok. So in anticipation I was ready for him to leave, but instead he decided to push himself upon me and because my babies were in there room I fought silently trying to resist him but I realized that he was trying to rape me,  because I didn’t want to awaken my children, I stopped resist after digging into his skin screaming inside crying why God, why you let this happen to my, I gave myself back to you, I’ve been living right, tears constantly flowing down my face.

      OMG, why I was sadden more, then fear of what was taken place, becauseI felt that me and God was in a good place. Soon after he finished his business and immediately falling to slp, I eased out of the room went into my bathroom, set on my toilet crying very hard, Lord I know you love me, with my arms wrapped around myself  tightly, Lord I know you love me, the water was running for me to get in the shower and scrab myself from his filty touch.

      All of a suddenly my head flew back, my jaw fell as if it was in my chest as this was taking place fear tried to creep in but because God allowed me to her some of the Saints story of the sudden fear tactic of  Satan of the hindering the filling of the HolyGhost, when I heard this Strang screaming voice and words I did not n’t understand, I knew I was been filled with the HolyGhost with great Joy,  I know what I just went through, I was going to be OK God demonstrated his amazing love for me in the MIST of my agony. 

      I got off the toilet with comfort in my heart God told me not to clean my nails and not to clean myself inside. Day was breaking I eased in my daughter’s room and my son as I whispered in their hearing go next door and call the police, Lord the fear look of hurry up.  

      The Police arrived as he was asleep in my bed and took him away. 

      So we thought the constable to him home, they were  friends, my uncle arrived and took me to the emergency room where I was accessed for rape, they took out the rape kit, cut my nails off that had his skin under it, they also removed his sedum from me. 

      Because of the leading of the HolyGhost I was able to prove my case of rape against him. OMG the church me and him attended the Pastor tried to convince me to drop the charges, by quoting the scripture  bring you brother or sister before the church if you have anything againt them but the HolyGhost gave me one take the man to his law he Law, he was not my brother in the Gosple. 

      One day after returning back, home me and my children after hangingwith the church family, the married guy keep trying to come back in my life but I wouldn’t allow him to even have communications , so one night after coming from church my porch had been set on fire and my purse that had my bible was outside on the porch where the fire was set but the bible didn’t burn at all, we called the police, they did a report and I shared with them that I thought it was the married guy, I once dated. Wasn’t  many day after My uncle moved in with us to protect us for a little while.

      IT WAS NECESSARY, IT’S WORKING FOR MY GOOD.
      RECIEVE THE BAPTISM OF THE HOLYGHOST, I WAS TOTALLY DELIVERED FROM CRACK COCAINE,  IM FREE, BEEN FREE FOR 25 YRS.

      IT WAS NECESSARY??????

      • Dr. Merle Ray   On   August 11, 2021 at 6:09 am

        MY GOD! MY GOD! Lola, I’m so glad to hear YOU! The Woman that you are is AMAZING! GOD is so BEAUTIFUL in YOU! Thank you for sharing your powerful testimony. I count it a blessing to be on this journey with you as Holy Spirit continues to fill us each day! Blessings and Love!

  5. Victoria Caldwell   On   July 30, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    I believe my life, in general, has been a discovery process in itself for me as I have evolved I can remember from a child being what people call “different”. I had a knowing that “different” came with a high price to pay. But in my search to narrow down a specific experience, It would have to be my experience in church. I thought out of all places I would be looked at from a better view around other believers when I was younger. I learned I had to learn God’s word, hide in it, eat it day in and out and represent the word at all cost.

  6. Patricia Grimes Jones   On   July 29, 2021 at 8:15 am

    What crisis happened in life to help you discover who you are and your call to the world to solve a problem?Three Years ago when I almost lost my life from a double bacteria infection that strutted my back after God had healed me from a spinal injury that happen way back in April 26, 1997 when I gave my life to Christ and a drunk driver hit the Church Van that was taking us home after church service. “Doing the year of April 1997 the Spirit of the Lord God in the mighty name of Jesus Christ spoke to me and confirmed through the Doctor that my spine would be healed and that he must put this Tatum Rods in my spine”? These kinds of rods and screws are reversal. It was done and then around October 2018 that’s when the double bacteria hit my spine and I had to have five surgeries in one night a wound vac put in my spine to pull the rest of the infection out. I was in the hospital for 30 days and the Holy Spirit visited me in the room and told me that he was going to heal me if I would turn my face unto the wall like Hezekiah 2nd Kings 20 and when I did that’s the day that I knew that God the Holy Spirit had purpose for life for me to speak unto his people Amen?

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